My brother-in-law recently sent out an email to the whole family (there are 11 siblings in all) in which he let everyone know not to expect him and his wife to be having any more children (they have two) due to pregnancy complications, etc. He wrote, "Unless something drastic changes, we are done for now. Sorry to disappoint all you would-be aunts and uncles." Then he added, "Maybe someday if we get the funds, we might look at adoption." That last line pushed several buttons in my heart, and I couldn't stop myself from firing off the following reply: "Since the cost of adoption came up, I couldn't resist putting in a plug here for foster adoption. Of the 450,000 kids​ currently in foster care in the US, approximately 100,000 are hoping to be adopted (meaning their biological parents' rights have been completely terminated by the courts). Foster adoption costs VERY LITTLE to NOTHING. . . and these are kids (of all ages) who want nothing more than to feel loved and safe. They have experienced abuse and neglect and the loss of their biological parents and are now growing up without the love and stability of a family. Can you even imagine what that would be like? "Here's a beautiful 3-minute video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOqx4ggOJWc&feature=youtu.be) that can give you a sense of what foster adoption is about. "I feel like people are quick to brush off the possibility of foster adoption quickly, without really giving it thought, saying essentially, "It would be too hard." But here's the truth: These kids' lives are too hard. And they didn't have the luxury of choosing to say yes to the hard. It was just there. "I've never heard a foster adoptive parent say that it was easy (have you heard ANY parent say it was easy?), but I often hear them say it's worth it. I recently reached out to my friend about her foster adoption experiences (she and her husband have 7 children, 3 biological and 4 adopted from foster care). Part of her response included these powerful words: "While it is a bumpy and somewhat difficult road it is worth it. You will learn more about Jesus and yourself than you ever thought possible. You will get to witness miracles in your home. You will get to see that tough things really can bring glory to God in ways you couldn't imagine." "So I would encourage all of you - good, solid, loving parents - to consider foster adoption as a possibility for your families." ____ A few additional thoughts that I didn't share with the in-laws: It really bugs me that people assume that adoption "is expensive" before they've done any research. And, after I finished my rant, I realized that another point that needs to be made here is that any form of adoption isn't a choice you make because you happen to have $30,000 handy - "Hey, honey! We've got an extra 30 grand! Maybe we should look into adoption!" - It's a choice you make because you want another child and feel that adoption is the way you want to grow your family. Financing is something you can figure out after you've made the decision to go for it.

My search really started when the courts told me that my last name started with a "K". I started by looking up all of the high schools list for Allegheny County, Pennsyvania. Once I had those I went to classmates.com and started going through everybody listed for the years '67 & '68. Diane graduated in '68 just after I was born. I found 2 people with the name Diana and 4 with the name Diane. I was able to eliminate 4 of the people by either age or name(one graduated in '67, another was to young, one had a polish last name and the others birthdate was to late in the year). Diane was almost 18, so her birthday wasn't to far away. I checked on info for these to and they seamed to fit. One person seamed to fit really well. Then I asked my CI if my bgrandfather was still alive and she said "no." I looked up both of the last names and I person had died thatfit my bgrandfathers info. I asked my CI if he had died along time ago or not and she told me 2004 and that his second wife had also died in 2001. This didn't fit with any info that I had found. I was sure that I didn't have the right people. I spent some time going through the obits for Pittsburgh area for 2004 and finially found him. It fit the name that I had and it listed both Diane's name and her husbands. It listed Diane's brother and his wife as well as my bgrandfather's 2nd wife and her to kids with spouses. His picture is also posted with the obit. Now all I have to do is figure out which Diane (with her last name as there are several) is her. But I do believe I might have it figured out. I just need to do some cross referancing. I will not try to contact her until the CI has finished her job and hope that Diane will respond that way as I don't want to scare her. The CI is still waiting a responce to the second letter that she sent out registered. I will just sit back and wait but now I know that if nothing happens with the CI, I know that I am not done.

Well tomorrow my mom moves in. What a change in events eh??? We are both sort of dreading living with each other....so we have decided to make the best of it and have fun....most of it will include loving the coolest kid on the planet. On a sad note.....or I hope not sad...but maybe sad....it looks more and more like Colon cancer :-( But we will know more after Wednesday. So I now get to add her weekly doctor visits in Orange County 2 hours round trip away to my daugther's therapy visits, visits with her God Mother and my very very aggressive work schedule. I LOVE MY KIDDO as you know, but I have had NO DOWN TIME....NONE. I only get to take a bath when she naps in the morning then I spend the rest of the day watching her and on the phone with producers and stuff...when she goes to bed at 8, I start writing till 2 or so then go to bed. She wakes up at 7 and we are off and running again. Adding my ailing mom to the mix.....will probably kill me. But I love my mom and want her to get better....FAST! I still have to finish painting her room tonight and it is already almost midnight. I was one finger typing a document with Aria on my lap that was due today cause she was just so over Mommie trying to work. I need to find a great affordable childcare, but so far no luck. She will be going to a wonderful pre-school when she is 2 but....that's when she's 2 she is almost 1 now so that's a year away. And I battle with the idea of not seeing her cute little face everyday, but today almost killed me. We actually went out for the first time in ages to a gathering of my closest friends to eat food and drink wine. Aria got a new Baby Einstein and played on a hideabed, which she jumped and giggled on all night....till 11! You go little rock star. She is usually in bed at 8pm sharp everynight since birth so every once in a while she gets a treat. It was funny everytime the group laughed collectively she would laugh and throw her arms in the air....what a fun kid really....she rocks! So this little wonderful rock star is almost adopted we sign papers at the end of the month then wait for a court date.....weeeeeehooooo! On that note ON TUESDAY we have a meeting with her birth sister at the agency. My sw said she sounds really nice on the phone and what was really sad is....she asked that if "they" like me do you think I can see my sister grow up? Oh God.....that breaks my heart. She has been in the system for 6 years and aged out this year and never got adopted, but knows the foster system and foster homes. She mentioned that she had never had a sister and that the baby is lucky she is getting adopted. BOY....just rip my heart out why don't ya :-( This issue brings up a lot of feelings in me...one....the age old adoptive parent dilema....I was blessed (as an adoptive parent) to have a really open and shut case....crack addict mom, homeless, toothless, never shows, doesn't work on her plan....loses baby. I feel like...well...you had a chance and didn't take it so I get to raise her and now she's my daughter and part of my family. But here comes a teenager (18) who never got adopted, has the same cracked out homeless mom, who is Aria's REAL FAMILY and I am feeling :-( weird. She wants to see Aria and be her sister (which she should be....because she is her sister) and part of me wants to open my home and adopt her too.... :-) and yet...well it opens up to a whole world I didn't bargin for when I adopted a newborn baby. So I will take it one day at a time, but at the moment hearing about her sister and how much she wants to see her little 1/2 sister has brought up some weird emotions and fears. One being that we have always said that Aria is starting to look like our family, but with brown skin and now her REAL biological family will know her and well....um....it is strange for me cause for a second I feel like my kiddo is someone else if that makes sense....meeting and being in a relationship with her bio sister emphasises that she is also a part of another tribe....and tonight...the eve of my mother moving in and possibly battling cancer, the fact that the light of my life is really part of another family is.....oh boy....making me feel sad. But this is adoptive parenting.....this is what happens. I have been so blessed to be oblivious. I have been ritcheous in that my daughter's birth mother was so sick...but here comes an innocent child who wants to know her sister, someone who has been given some hard blows in life and was not a cute baby, but a really hurt child and never got adopted, who is out in the world fending for herself and one of the only nice things in her world is her little sister....and everyone I know tells me to take Aria and run....so I am again faced with the dilema....cause honestly part of me wants me to take my daughter and run and part of me wants to welcome her sister home....YIKES.....LIFE....gotta live it! But whew.....it throws you some punches. The other weird thing is I am adopting again next year and the second baby WILL be Aria's sister, but not by blood. So she will have her blood sister and her little sister, who is adopted and mom who is adopted....and in my oblivious, hippie and happiness induced state I never really looked at the dynamics of adoption...but now I see it. My angel baby with her perfect ringlet curls and big brown eyes has a white mommie and a biological 1/2 sister and a blonde auntie and soon will have an adopted little sister.....and a Momma who lives with us....and just in that description alone we will have to redefine family as so many adoptive and birth parents do everyday. The truth that no one really tells you about adoption is....it is big....it traverses a lot of planes and a lot of descriptions....You may be a mother....but someone was a mother to your child before you, you may love your child with everything you have to give of your heart, but someone loves her just because she is alive and maybe holding on to hope because she exists, you're WHOLE FAMILY may have put this child on a pedestal of love, but another family loves her too......and well....tonight....that is a lot to swallow. But I believe in God and the Blue Fairy and all that is good in the world and I know tht nothing but good is coming to my perfect little angel....so I take this ride. And we meet her sister on Tuesday.

We just finished our home visit for our homestudy to adopt our baby girl!!!!!!!!!! SW left and dh took kids to give me some time alone, been cleaning all day and all night. What a sweet husband and I have to scream YYYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! It went beautifully. We still have a few more paperwork thing/physicals to get done, but its all on us now (so I know I can get it done and won't have to worry about somebody else dropping the ball. Its getting real! I was hoping for an adoption finalization before Christmas and becoming very concerned it wouldn't happen My prayer was answered. Thank you! SW has finished the final bit of paperwork the day that I prayed my heart out for her to find the time to do it. Our attorney just needs to petition the court for an adoption finalization day. We are hoping for National Adoption day, November 15th! It is only a matter of time no matter what day it is that we end up with so truthfully I'm beyond okay now, I'm ecstatic! I no longer have that weight of, could we loose him? Its gone and I feel peace. I know we will finalize. Its like I can take that deep breath and release all that stress and tension. FIY don't be like me, let God take over. I thought I was the one who could get our SW to get the move on. I needed to let it go and let God take over. E will be our forever son-is that not a miracle? This is the baby I knew so very well before he was even born.I see him growing and see the joy he brings to all who know him. He is adorable, he is amazing, I don't know what our family would do without him. He is such an ingrained part of our lives. I felt he wanted to come to our family this way long before I ever knew him and before I was ready to take that leap of faith. The first time I saw him I knew he was meant to be our son. It was a God thing, whispered right to my heart. I'm hoping for our baby to join us in December, best Christmas present I can imagine. After November 15th we will should be on the list, waiting for our baby girl to join our family. I learned my lesson, I'm going to let God take over this journey right from the start. My sweet baby girl, I can't wait to see you. I pray for your birth family. This time and the months and years to come will be painful and challenging for them. I pray they beat their demons. I pray that you will heal from the exposure you have. I have had peaceful moments whispered in my heart that you will overcome, it won't be easy and we may have some rough years but you are going to grow to be an amazing young lady. I feel that same peace with E, I know he will have his challenges, but he is going to grow into an amazing young man. He will end the cycle of addiction in his genetic line. Its something I feel with all of my heart. I feel at some point he will be the source of strength for his birth family, not now, and not any time soon but at some point in his adult life. I hope your birth family will always be part of our lives. In my heart I feel there is and always will be an eternal connection to your birth family. An "invisible red thread" that connects all of us. It cannot be broken. I will always pray for E's birth mother, even if I'm angry with her for what she exposed E to, I will do the same for your birth mom. I imagine holding you for the first time, what will you look like? Will you be a fussy baby like M or will you be an angel like C was? Will you be the best 2-3 year old like M was or a difficult 2-3 year old like C was? Will you be artistic and free spirited like C, will you be athletic and a perfectionist like M? You know I'm sure you will be just who you are meant to be-and uniquely you. I can't wait my sweet daughter, my forever and always baby. You will complete this family, we need you. E is ready for you. Today at mommy group one of my mommy friends brought her foster baby with her. I got to hold her, E was so excited to see a baby. He wanted to touch her, giggled when he got her to smile, he stroked her tiny feet and said "baby" over and over again with a big smile on his face. He will be a protective big brother and will take care of you all of your life. M is not excited about another baby sister (even though C and her are as close as sisters can be) I know she will change her mind once she meets you, she wants a baby brother because she loves E so much. C is soooo excited about a baby sister! She can't wait to dress you, to help me feed you, pick out your hair bows, she may not want to change your diapers but I think she will do just about everything she can as your big sister. And then there is your dad. You see he has a big hole in his heart that can only be filled with you. You are so lucky to have him as a daddy but I know he is even more fortunate.

I write here today, because I awoke in such a great , energetic, happy mood, checked into the forums, and was so totally floored by a certain member, that attempted to clean the floor with a reply in a post I made...meant for Firstmoms, I as usual ..with stupidity thought I could finally post where I could tell my true feelings about my twins. Not so, these forums, I had always felt were for ALL of us to come learn, vent, cry, listen and hear, others and their journies. I thought, since I had no one in my everyday world to open up to about my journey with the twins, this was a perfect place to come to. I have always enjoyed coming and listening, responding, and sometimes give gut honest opinions...I thought that was what the forums were for. I will come here now, for I know I am safe here, I cannot hurt anyone here in my own journal world. I still can purge my pain, feelings, and love that are deep inside me..without being told I have no right to do so. It has taken me 45 minutes to stop crying..thank GOD my hottie is hauling hay, for I would not like him to see me this upset. He is such an amazing gentle sole, he made me feel like a queen again this morning. We have now been married 10 yrs. I have only had 3 partners , and all 3 have been husbands. So I am not the most experienced at telling whether he is the best(especially at 62 yrs old), but I can imagine none any better. We enjoy trying new things,and always have the best time doing so. I must go take a tractor to the field..I just needed to come to my safe place, and get rid of my anger/sadness, from realizing this place is not for me..the forums that is. I know when one comes here, the adoption journeys are not always a pleasant happy place, quite the opposite actually. I knwo that we all have differing opinions, and because the subjet of our lives is adoption, there will be advers opinions that will cause some heated replies. I just thought ALL were welcome to have their voice heard...in a respectful manner...I was wrong!

Hello Everyone, This is my first time here- my first post. I'm not unfamiliar with posting on the Internet because I'm the Host of a support site called MiscarriageHelp.com. But, this is different. While I spend much of my time, (early in the day), caring about and trying to support others in their time of need, this is my time, my 'space' if you will, to share my heart- my dreams. I remember saying to my mother when I was around ten that I wanted to adopt a child someday. The feeling was so strong- as if I were born with it. I've read that some call it the "adoption gene". Perhaps that's true. I don't remember a time when I didn't feel almost a 'calling' to adopt. It's like a part of my personality and soul I was born with. I can't explain it. I just know it was there then and is still present today. I've learned not to give up on your dreams. I've also come to believe how our thoughts actually create our reality. What I mean by this, (and it's only my opinion), is that if I were to give up on my dreams of adopting, I'd essentially attract that to me. That's the last thing I want. So, I believe with all my heart, that the right child at the right time will come into my life. A child who needs me and all the love I have waiting, as much as I need him or her. This site is another step, a very real and concrete step towards living the dream. I'm putting myself out there and saying to anyone who wants to listen, "I have spent far too long waiting to be called Mommy and that special place in my heart will be filled as soon as I hear that word." I have a lot to learn, and have learned a lot. This path will lead where it's supposed to and I know there will come a day when my heart feels fulfilled because we have a family to call our own. A family that spends birthdays, Christmas's, and every day together travelling wonderfully unexpected paths- all which lead back to home. Thanks for stopping by and I look forward to making new friends here, to learning what I need to know, sharing whatever I can, and to all of us realizing our own dreams coming true. Ellen

Native children are languishing in state care in unthinkable numbers, far higher than ever lived in residential schools at any one time. Canada remains so traumatized by the sixties scoop,Ӕ the widespread adoption of native children into white homes, that it allows the native children of today to grow up without a permanent home of their own. http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/opinions/editorials/native-children-also-have-the-right-to-parents/article1833657/

"Adoption is a violent act, a political act of aggression towards a woman who has supposedly offended the sexual mores by committing the unforgivable act of not suppressing her sexuality, and therefore not keeping it for trading purposes through traditional marriage. The crime is a grave one, for she threatens the very fabric of our society. The penalty is severe. She is stripped of her child by a variety of subtle and not so subtle manoeuvres and then brutally abandoned." - Joss Shawyer, Death by Adoption, Cicada Press (1979) Young parents today are still pressured and coerced into surrendering their children. These abusive practices are still alive and thriving in America's $1.4 billion-per-year adoption industry. Adoption is and has always been deeply imbued in classism, as it is adoption's intent and most often outcome to move a child from lower to higher-class status. This is truer today than ever, as adoption has become a business of finding children for clients Legal adoption in America only came into mainstream a century ago when people stopped believeing that sins were passed from mother to child, and at first all adoption records were open to the public. When they began to be closed, it was only to the general public, and the intent was to protect adoptees from public scrutiny of the circumstances of their birth.Adoptive parents and agencies that profited from adoption lobbied to overturn reform laws.Adoptees who held questions of identity, ancestry, and genetics had nowhere to turn for answers.The records were sealed for 99 years, even with joint consent, and searching carries a criminal penalty. A Public Affairs pamphlet from 1969, You and Your Adopted ChildӔ, states, Instances of extreme curiosity and concern almost never happenӅ However, should a youngster ever raise the question, it is important, of course, to make it very clear that a search is unrealistic and can lead to unhappiness and disillusionment. The Impact of the 1960Ԓs and 1970s Revolutions on Current Adoption Practices ■Liberation movements: womenҒs liberation, civil rights movement, sexual revolution, adoptees liberty movement (ALMA, 1971), birth fathersҒ rights. ■Birth control methods reduced the number of unplanned pregnancies. ■The legalization of abortion gave women a choice in whether or not to carry an unplanned pregnancy to term. ■Normalization of single parenthood in the dominant culture allowed women to choose whether to place a child for adoption or raise the child alone. ■Support of this choice was provided by increased welfare aids for unmarried females and head of household tax relief, as well as increased job opportunities. ■The Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA-1978) ■Normalization of step, blended, or other family types which are not connected by blood. ■Birth Parents and adult adoptees began to speak out about their experiences, their rights and their needs. Groups such as Origins USA (founded in 1997) started to actively speak about family preservation and the rights of mothers. The intellectual tone of these recent reform movements was influenced by the publishing of The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier. "Primal wound" is described as the "devastation which the infant feels because of separation from its birth mother. It is the deep and consequential feeling of abandonment which the baby adoptee feels after the adoption and which may continue for the rest of his life." In 2007, the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute published a report concerning the issue of adoption records written by Madelyn Freundlich, the former general counsel for the Child Welfare League of America and past associate director of program and planning for the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. Two of the main findings of the report state that adoptees are the only people in the U.S. that are, as a class, denied the right to view their own birth certificates, and denying adult adopted persons access to information related to their births and adoptions has potentially serious, negative consequences with regard to their physical and mental health.Ӕ The child who does not grow up with his own biological parents, who does not even know them or anyone of his own blood, is an individual who has lost the thread of family continuity. A deep identification with our forebears, as experienced originally in the mother-child relationship, gives us our most fundamental security.

Here is the information on my birthmother...Name: Diane Walker. I was born at St. Francis Hospital in Evanston, IL on June 16, 1970. Adopted 10 days later through Catholic Charities. My name on original birth certificate was Josette Lynn Walker. Birthfather was reportedly in Navy. Birthmother desc: 5'5", brown hair/brown eyes. Birth grandmother reportedly killed in car wreck in 1969. Birthmother lived with her Grandmother and Father. Also lived in "wage home" in the months before my birth, and did daycare in exchange for room and board. This family's name was Casey.

Stepparent adoption is a common form of adoption, where an adopting stepparent is willing to assume financial and legal responsibility of his/her spouse’s children, and release the noncustodial parent of parental responsibilities. The process has permanent legal consequences, and will be a huge psychological change for the child, the biological parent, and the adopting family. As the stepparent adoption procedure takes place among people who know each other, the court may forego the requirement of home visits and adoption hearings. This helps quicken the process, and makes it easier for the stepparent to receive consent from the noncustodial parent. Here are a few considerations to keep in mind before opting for stepparent adoption. [url=https://adoption.com/blogs/5270/adopting-a-child-5-mistakes-you-must-strictly-avoid/]Adoption[/url] will bring a major change in the lives of the child and the birth parent. After the formal process is over, a legal relationship begins to exist between the child and guardian. Now, the adoptee will be entitled as a legal heir of the adopter, among other permanent changes. It is, therefore, important to consult an adoption attorney and understand the legalities involved. While some federal laws do apply to adoption, states make their own adoption laws based on their statutes. An attorney can inform you about the state adoption laws and legal precedents that can help you with adoption. If your current spouse will be the stepparent, then the biological parent needs to be aware that the adoption will make your spouse the child's legal parent, and also responsible for all legal rights and responsibilities of parenthood. Additionally, the child will no longer hold claim to inheritance from the previous family. As part of the adoption procedure, you need to present certified copies of the child's birth certificate, documents of your marriage to the current spouse, and the birth parents’ divorce documents. If the biological parent is deceased, then a certified copy of the death certificate will be required, otherwise his/her service address needs to be presented. These documents will be handled by your attorney at the preliminary adoption hearing. Post-adoption, the adopting parent may hold a claim in the child’s property. Remember to document the details in the adoption petition, and present them during the hearing. The certificates can be related to Social Security payments, land or tangible property, and trust funds inherited by the child. During the preliminary court hearing, you will have to file a form that reflects the noncustodial parent’s consent for the adoption. If the parent has approved, then the hearing is not likely to face major difficulties. The consent form relieves the noncustodial parent from all further child support obligations. A situation may arise where the birth parent might not be willing to cooperate with the procedure. Parent’s consent is of utmost importance, and the lack of it can obstruct the procedure. If you are unable to locate the parent, then the court might permit you to publish a legal notice in a newspaper. If the other parent still does not respond, then the consent is nullified for the adoption. [url=http://www.dlgteam.com/]A child custody lawyer can help you[/url] devise a strategy to avoid a trial. The process of adoption is initiated with a Petition for Adoption filed by you and presented to the court. You need to state the elementary information regarding your identity and the reason for adoption, along with details of the child to be adopted. Certain counties and states may ask for a Supplemental Petition with additional details – such as employment, previous marriage(s), military service, and other children’s details. Based on the details shared with the court, the judge will announce a hearing date for the petition – you will need to attend. At the hearing, the judge will hear the case to question the parties involved. Make sure that you meet with your attorney to finalize the strategy for the hearing, and advise about how adoption hearings are conducted in courts. The hearing will conclude with the judge stating a date for the finalization of the adoption. At this stage, a social worker from the [url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Protective_Services]Child Protective Service[/url] (CPS) will visit your home to conduct a home study to understand more about your family. The meeting is primarily conducted to help you prepare for adoption, evaluate the current capability, and the home environment of the prospective family. It is, therefore, important to understand the requirements of the evaluation process. There are multiple agencies that offer initial informational sessions or orientations to help you through the adoption process. During the meeting, the social worker can interview you several times to form a relationship with you and understand your family better. This will help him/her to assist you with the adoption. This is the final leg of the adoption procedure, where the judge will make his/her ruling on the adoption petition. If the judge is satisfied with the documents and the intent of adopting the child, then the ruling may be in your favor. The finalization hearing is attended by the adopting parents, the child, the adoption attorney, and the CPS social worker. The judge awards an adoption certificate issued by the court, which states that the adoptee is the legal child of the adopting parent. Once the adoption is finalized, you can apply for the amended birth certificate of the child to be issued. Stepparent adoption laws are formed with the view to provide the best home environment for adopted children. Although the parties involved are related, the procedure may get complicated at later stages. Hence, it is important to opt for legal aid and avoid potential challenges in court. This way, the court can ensure that the children enjoy good relationships with both parents. The above points will help you know more about the aspects that need to be taken care of when opting for stepparent adoption. ([url=https://pixabay.com/en/mother-daughter-family-park-child-1171569/"Image Credit[/url])